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picture of Chik performing at Paisley Arts Centre

"I am a thing that thinks" - René Descartes
(French Philosopher 1596 - 1650)

This thing that thinks is called Chik - a.k.a. Charley, a.k.a. Charley Donkey, a.k.a. Chikpea, a.k.a. Charley Chikpea, and a.k.a. Charles John Duncan.

Chik was born in Bellshill Maternity Hospital, brought up in Rutherglen, in Lanarkshire in Scotland, and started writing at St. Columbkille's Primary School where teachers often asked if a drunken spider had been crawling all over his jotter.

Around the age of nine he began work on his first novel, something about spaceships and planets and stuff. He only ever got as far as Chapter 3 which kind of set the standard for the rest of his life really.

He thinks it was also around this time that he first trod the boards, or rather the linoleum at the front of the classroom, chosen for the role of Dr. Finlay because he had "a big strong Scottish voice".

At nine??? Gaun yirsel', wee man!

In his twenties, after many years of trying, he finally managed to get in to Glasgow University one night when they accidently left a window open and four years later, to everyone's surprise including his own, a drunken spider got an Honours Degree in Philosophy while Chik was lazing about in the Q.M. coffee bar.

Nowadays, having acquired an inflated opinion of his own talent, Chik sometimes describes himself as a writer, storyteller and performer of poyums, but he can probably be summed up in eighteen of his own words thus:

"I'm something-something years old, I'm a rebel without a scooby, but your kids and their grannies love me."